Minister's Corner

In thinking about June and our significant upcoming events to raise a flag and to host a booth in Lowell, to I stumbled into creating what I think of as a guided cultural meditation for all of us. Something that as imaginary as it may be, might just feel during pride month like a small moral win, in what has been a hard year. So, settle in, relax, lay down if that is a potential as you read this. I would ask you to close your eyes if you like, but then you couldn’t read this. Anyways, come join me on this early summer vacation trip. (Pause)

Today, I would like you to allow yourself to believe that we here in our little UU church have been invited to preview the opening of a new amusement ride called “The Golden Age of Marriage.” What some of the park’s publicity has come to call “an info-taining journey thru the history of marriage in the western world.” This controversial ride is about to open at the equally polarizing Amusement Park called “The Real Eden.” The 35-acre park was designed specifically to promote religious tolerance and progressive values in the bible belt.

“The Real Eden” was a project built with grants from the Gates Foundation, the ACLU, the PEW charitable trust…and -as we have heard too, too many times from watching PBS “the support of people like you.” It was conceived as a cultural alternative to the wave of religiously conservative theme parks and monuments that have been constructed across the nation over the last 25 years.

Those who initially proposed the park were motivated by a growing belief that religious liberals needed to provide a more culturally sensitive and modern option to parks like The Ark, a re-creation of Noah’s Ark in Williamstown Kentucky, and “The Creation Museum” in Cincinnati, Ohio.

The final push that made “The Real Eden” a reality was the announcement of plans to begin building an “American Heartland Park” in rural Oklahoma. Upon hearing the news of yet another vacation option dedicated to “Promoting Real American Values” the President of the UUA was caught on a live mic at a National Interfaith gathering saying… “What The BLEEEP!” It’s statement that went viral. In a statement of alliance and quiet reward for all the free publicity that statement gave the park, UU’s have been among the first of “The Real Eden’s” loyal supporters.

“Eden” -as it is more commonly called- has a similar footprint and look to many large amusement or theme parks. Its’ obviously provocative name was chosen from among other options for being potentially both the most intriguing and offensive name possible to fundamentalists and the parks immediate neighbours in Stone Mountain Georgia. The committee that named the park believed that with such a name there would be the near guarantee of some free publicity created by the inevitable protesters who expected a bible-based experience.

Eden will soon offer opportunities to sit in on live lectures from well-known advocates for progressive causes. For example, plans are underway for upcoming weeklong residences from the famed Cosmologist Neil DeGrass Tyson, religious Historian Karen Armstrong, Pakistani Teen activist Malala Yousafzai, and the Dahli Lama.

Throughout “Eden’s” sprawling acres of attractions, food courts, and outdoor stages, actors roam about portraying respected historic champions of human rights and religious tolerance. The brochure and website respectively contain lovely photographs and short Tic-Tok style video of actors who portraying Gandhi, Sojourner Truth, and Mother Jones are seen engaging with guests.

At this completely LEED ecologically certified park, food courts are committed to selling exclusively organic and healthy refreshments. In terms of being a good employer, all members of their growing staff receive a living wage and respectable benefits.

Because at Eden “values come first,” all the souvenirs sold are required to meet strict “Fair Trade” guidelines. The Park administration ensures that they have strictly limited the single use items to a minimum but are committed that all plastics used in the park were raised in a free range/cage-free manner. (Smile and wink). Guests and traveling school groups are invited to participate in an on-going experiment to soon completely power the park via solar, wind and other sustainable energy sources.

“The Real Eden” was constructed to intentionally mimic Disney World’s differently themed sections. “Science is not a Conspiracy Land,” and “Human Rights Ville,” are just a couple of the areas the 17 different educational amusement “rides,” most still under construction will fall into.

To help guide people around, the sprawling amusement space, “This is Eden’s” different sections are laid out in an intuitive and color-coded manner. Rainbow coloured street signs direct people quite intuitively to the LGBTQ-AI themed “gayborhood,” and dirt paths bordered by wildflowers lead visitors to the ecological themed area titled “No Planet-B.”

Pertinent to us on my upcoming Sunday together is that constructed at the exact spot where “Human Rights Ville,” “Religious Tolerance Town, and “the gayborhood” all meet is the soon to open attraction titled “The Golden Age of Marriage.”

And the next time we are together we will participate in an imaginary tour of what a progressive ride through marriage in the Western world might look like.